Food + Secrets of Dripping Fang
Meeting Dan Greenburg: Secrets of Dripping Fang Author dishes about food and writing
I was lucky enough to meet Dan Greenburg when he was in Toronto promoting "Secrets of Dripping Fang"- a fantastic kid's book about two orphan siblings and their wacky travails. Here's a fun, funny and fascinating fellow- hope you enjoy reading his interview as much as I enjoyed speaking to him in person. You can also check out his Wikipedia entry to learn more.
VITAL STATS- Dan Greenburg
Where were you born? Chicago.
How old are you? I was born in 1936, but I have a mental block about anything having to do with math. I feel I'm about 30, so that's probably what I am. I do five hours of weightlifting a week and am in pretty good shape. In fact, I'm the same size and weight as my 21-year-old son Zack, who often borrows my clothes.
Where do you currently reside? In Hastings-on-Hudson, a small town on the Hudson River, 20 miles north of New York City. But we recently fell in love with B.C., bought a house on the Sunshine Coast with a high-bank view of the ocean, and are moving up to Canada permanently in a year or so.
Occupation? Author, humorist, nervous adventurer.
Brief Bio of what you've done? Written 70 books that have been translated into 23 languages, a few of which have been bestsellers; written about 200 articles in national magazines, co-written two Broadway musicals, written three awful TV shows (one of which won an award) and six terrible movies (including one that is widely recognized as Elvis Presley's worst). My magazine pieces have often described stupidly frightening adventures I've undertaken. I was raised by well-meaning but over-protective parents who knew the dangers in everything I ever attempted to do as a kid. As a result I grow up afraid of everything and everybody. My adult life has been spent trying to reassure myself I wasn't a coward. Accordingly, I have done and written about such things as: (1) traveled with New York City firemen for five months and ended up following them into burning buildings, eventually overcoming a deep fear of fire, (2) traveled with New York City homicide cops for eight months, got involved in car chases and apprehensions of armed drug-dealer/killers, and on one occasion drove the killer and the arresting officer back to the precinct in a cop car, (3) flown upside down with a stunt pilot over the Pacific in an open cockpit biplane, (4) taken part in two voodoo ceremonies in Haiti where fellow participants were handling live coals, swallowing broken glass, and biting the heads off pigeons, (5) experienced a house that was under poltergeist attack, (6) searched for the Loch Ness Monster with a team of startlingly inept investigators, (6) spent time on a tiger ranch in Texas, getting to know tigers; on the first day I went into a cage with four 200-pound Bengal tigers whom, I was told, would try to intimidate me in order to see whether I was afraid of them; when they messed with me, I was instructed to yell NO, and smack them hard on the nose. I did as directed, and that led to my current novel for older kids (and adults) called CLAWS.
QUESTIONS:
(1) How did you become a children's book author and what sparked your initial interest in the genre? I was playing baseball in my sister's backyard with my son Zack, who was then 10, and my mother, who was then 88. My mom, who had never held a bat before, hit the first pitch thrown to her, and that gave me a funny idea for a book: What if Zack's 88-year-old grandma, who knows nothing about baseball, hits nothing but homeruns, and Zack gets her a tryout with the Chicago White Sox, who pitch her a couple of balls as a joke, but she knocks these out of the ballpark, and what if the White Sox, as much as they hate the idea, are forced to hire her and she gets them into the playoffs? I wrote it up and sent it to several publishers, all of whom loved it and all of whom turned it down. Finally, one editor asked if I could take my same characters and write four books for her about anything but baseball. I said sure, I'll write about the supernatural, and that's how THE ZACK FILES were born. There were 30 volumes of ZACK FILES and a 52-episode Canadian-produced ZACK FILES TV series and that led me into other series like MAXIMUM BOY, and my two latest series, SECRETS OF DRIPPING FANG and WEIRD PLANET.
(2) How do you relate to kids to better write for them? I go to schools and talk to them. It's a lot more fun than when I wrote for adults. I ask kids what they look for in a book. The three things I hear most: funny, scary and gross (even girls like gross).
(3) Tell us a bit about your latest series- Secrets of Dripping Fang? I set out to write a series that was funny, scary and gross. It's the story of a pair of 10-year-old twins, Wally and Cheyenne Shluffmuffin, who become orphaned when their father drowns tragically in a Porta-Potti and their mother is smothered by enraged bunnies in a petting zoo. They're taken to the Jolly Days orphanage in Cincinnati, where nobody wants to adopt them because Cheyenne is allergic to everything and spends a lot of time sneezing and blowing her nose, and Wally's feet stink worse than barn animals. Then one day two mysterious ladies, the Mandible sisters, show up at the orphanage, asking to see any orphans who have intolerable allergies and stinky feet. They adopt Cheyenne and Wally and take them back to their home in spooky Dripping Fang Forest, which is filled with dreadful monsters and where Wally discovers the Mandible sisters are actually giant ants who are breeding a race of super-ants to enslave mankind and end life on Earth as we know it.
(4) Are you like a kid when it comes to food (fussy) or like a parent (just eat it!)? I'm more like a kid. I'm fussy (allergic to milk, cheese, icecream, pizza, onions, sauerkraut, and all fresh fruit and vegetables, which doesn't leave much except, I guess, chocolate.
(5) When you had to cook for your son- what was on the menu? I cooked lots of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Before I was married I did learn how to cook one thing for ladies I went out with. It was fish sauteed in lime, wine and butter and it was so impressive that I never had to cook anything else, and now I've forgotten how to do even that.
(6) Any tips on getting picky kids to eat their greens and good-for-you stuff? Yes, but it's really mean and dangerous. When my son Zack wouldn't eat his stringbeans, I always told him, "Oh, Zack, the poor little beans are CRYING." He ate every damned one of them. Unfortunately, when he grew up, he continued to personify inanimate objects, and he now finds it impossible to throw anything out for fear it will break down into uncontrollable weeping.
(7) Your favourite cuisine style? I guess French or Italian, as long as there is something kind of chocolatey for dessert.
(8) Top 3 picks of restaurants in your city? Since you probably don't get to Hastings-on-Hudson much, I'll give you my 3 picks in Vancouver and on the Sunshine Coast. Vancouver: (1) The Beach House at Dundarave Pier, (2) Cin Cin, and (3) Il Giardino. Sunshine Coast: (1) The Blue Heron, (2) Rockwater Resort at Secret Cove, (3) Daphne's. If you're ever in Colorado, the best food I've ever eaten there was in the Denver airport at the Pour La France restaurant. Seriously, the best. My wife Judith and I are willing to frequent restaurants that have only passable food if they have low romantic lighting and a knockout view of the water. Of the above, the following have this: The Beach House, The Blue Heron, Rockwater Resort.
(9) Is there a food or drink that's comforting to you when you're experiencing writer's block? No, but I'll tell you how to get out of writer's block. Some days we all write beautifully. Some days we all write crap. On the days we write crap it is useful to remember that we have not suddenly lost our ability to put words together and it is necessary to give ourselves permission to write crap. The next day, we will revise the crappy writing and it will still not be good, but it will be less crappy. The next day we will revise it again and it will be even less crappy. Eventually, it will be good. Now you know how to get out of writers block and you don't need a food or drink to comfort you.
(10) If you had to describe yourself as a dish - which one would it be and why? A mushroom-spinach-and-feta-cheese omelet, because although it's very healthy, it's also juicy and quite tasty.
